Local man Don has told shopping centre security that he did not attack Coles by stealing an entire shopping cart full of groceries, claiming that he was simply balancing a trade deficit.
The thief announced a sweeping plan to steal 10% of all items from every store, which he claimed will help bring down the heavily inflated prices of groceries.
You say satire, but I am sure someone will do this.
Hey if you do it first you’ll probably make the news!